Your truth will set you free

January 3, 2019

 I’m posting this not to gross anybody out but to share my gratitude for where I am today compared to where I was on Jan 3rd 2014. W/ a blood staph infection, B.A.C of .503, conjunctivitis, weighed 78 lbs & every organ in my body including my heart & brain were failing. The right pic is the result of the acid from my urine eating away my skin because I had been lying in one spot for over a month. I was hemorrhaging out of every orifice because my blood was so thin from the amount of alcohol I was consuming. Only 6 months before this debacle I had a hemorrhagic stroke from falling over a railing that resulted in brain surgery. And there were never any drugs other than alcohol in my system. So when people talk about how innocuous alcohol is, I just laugh. It has taken brutal honesty, deep introspection and forgiveness of myself to build the life of recovery that I have today. I no longer want to numb or hurt myself and I may not love myself but I definitely don't hate myself anymore. If you've ever judged someone who had a substance abuse problem- just know they judged themselves even more. I have hopes that a picture like this can turn some of that judgement into compassion because it is hell on earth to be psychologically & physiologically addicted to something that you know is killing you, & even more emotionally injurious to those that love you. Whether you understand the disease of addiction or not; the reality is that it is one of the leading causes of death in this country so we need to at least try to understand it better. Those of you that knew about my gnarly spirals into the depths of insanity & somehow never stopped loving & rooting for me, YOU are my Heros. I can now pass that unconditional love & compassion onto the next suffering soul in my path. You created a ripple of kindness into the world that will be infinitely passed on. I'm so grateful for God and for my friends & family who never stopped loving me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Feel free to share to spread awareness about the abominable affects of alcoholism! 

 

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