"I will not go quietly into that good night, but instead rage against the dying of the light." - Dylan Thomas

January 4, 2017

These are the words that reverberated in my head when I was at deaths door in ICU Jan 3rd 2014. I weighed 78 lbs, had a blood alcohol content of .503, a blood staph infection, I was hemorrhaging out of every orifice, and every organ in my body was failing.

It is ironic how alive you feel when you are close to death; every cell in your body screaming, every nerve signaling pain. The body raging against the dying of the light. Pain seems like a fellow soldier in the war against death reminding you that you’re still alive. It is unbelievable how anti-entropic the process of entropy actually is. Death of life being the ultimate paradox. An experience I am so grateful for— the catalyst to my awakening. Shattered into a million different pieces, the pieces that were the strongest bits of me, buried deep inside. These bits were connected to something greater than myself, allowing me to be reborn, regenerated, and ready to rearrange and reinvent my life with a brand new perspective. I doubted a Creator before this experience, but I discovered there is a light, a light not everyone gets to find. And the greatest gift of all is living to become a conduit of it.✨

 

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