Goodbye my Love

April 8, 2019

The day I’ve been anticipating, my worst nightmare and biggest fear finally arrived. I had to say goodbye to my best friend, my child, my everything today. If I knew last night would be her last, I would’ve held her in my arms all night long. My heart hurts so much it just wants to jump out of my chest and hide. Every memory over the last 14 years came flooding in like a monsoon. Holding her so tight, hearing her every breath get slower and deeper till she passed. Thinking of her as an ornery puppy, playing tugawar and darting out the front door—giving me a heart attack every time. There is no love like a dogs love; it is so benevolent, so Godly, so unconditional. I just wanted to crawl into her body and curl up and die with her. I feel like dogs have an uncanny intuition of what’s to come at the very end. There is an inexplicable wave of calm and peace that comes over them like they are innately aware that they are about to enter a magical realm where only love exists. No pain, no suffering, only love. I don’t know how I’ll go on without her or how I’ll stay sober through this, but I will because I owe my life to her. She saved me time and time again, she will always be my hero.. forever and always. Thank you my sweet sweet Maddie Girl. I love you❤️😰

 

 

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